Posted by: jainnidhi12 | May 9, 2008

Self Love

Every one of us likes to be praised, to be listened to, to be spoken to with respect, experiencing success at work, having trustworthy friends and many such things in life. But have we ever thought that how can we get all this?
Most of us feel that we are being harshly criticized, ignored or teased, and always cry for our failures. This all happens because we think that our failed experiences are the failures of our own self. We never learn to respect our self so the people around also disrespect us. For most of us, feelings and thoughts about our self fluctuate based on our daily experiences like we feel bad when we get low grades in exams, we feel hurt when friends mistreat us, the ups and downs in professional or personal surroundings. This all collectively impact our wellbeing.

The core problem why this happens with us is that we don’t love, trust and believe in our self. Our self-esteem should be strong enough to give us the strength to fight against not only these normal ups and downs that comes from the situational changes but should prepare us to tackle most complex problems of our lives. God has made every human being special and so we should respect his creativity. Every one of us should possess the specific feelings of self esteem, self confidence and self-competence which can lead us to the path of happiness and success. For people with good basic self-esteem, the normal ups and downs may lead to temporary fluctuations in their lives and that too to a limited extent but for people with poor basic self-esteem, these ups and downs make all the difference in the world. All of us should listen to our inner voice and follow it because it gives us the strength to fight against all odds. This would help us live a happy and satisfied life. We can never feel lonely if we start liking our self because if we think, we have so much to interact and discover about our own self. We should insist on knowing us more, loving us more, give more meaning to our lives and try and find the reason for our existence in this lovely world so that we can do justice to our birth and to the creator. We should believe in ours selves and learn to like ours selves.

~ Nidhi Jain



  1. The first response was an accident and doesn’t need to be posted. 🙂 Anyhow, are you saying that we are to be like Narcissus? Narcissus fell in love with himself, his own reflection because he did not want to love anyone else; no one was “good enough” for him. It was not a blessing that he fell in love with himself. The reflection could not love him back, and he did not understand that what he loved was just an illusion.

  2. I would have liked to put your first comment as well, but I thought to respect your view saying not to put that. Anyway, being the “Cognition Architect” @ LifeMantras, I realised a sure need to shed some in-depth light on legend, myth and on the history of these Narcissus paintings.

    There are numerous versions of Narcissus paintings by plenty of well-known and un-known artists. According to authentic books on the studies and history of Renaissance paintings – there were three subsequent paintings representing the entire myth or legend of Narcissus. This is the first one in the order of three and unfortunately the other two haven’t acclaimed the same fame. So, for most of the people like you, this painting has become the only source of relevance to the entire legend of Narcissus, whilst the fact is that, this particular painting is the manifestation of “Self realisation” -“Realizzazione di sé” in Italian. The subsequent paintings then manifested the misery of Narcissus which were created under the influence of Aristotle’s interpretation on Narcissus and his legend.

    Nonetheless, I was happy to receive your comments, saying myself, “Alas! there are some people who are at least aware about this famous painting and the legend of Narcissus.”

    Thanks for dropping your words and evoking my “repertoire” 🙂

    – Robin.

  3. well-put.

  4. In the end, Narcissus died. Whether it was through suicide, thirst or loneliness, the failure to connect to another human being sealed his fate. With a tragedy like that, I think you could use a better example to demonstrate the concept of love.

  5. @ lissa : Thanks.

    @ Bob : May be you did not comprehend what I wrote @ artrockpoetry.

    The figurative purpose of this seemingly oxymoron Narcissus painting is heterologous; since this particular painting manifests only the “Self realisation” which is the first step towards “Self-love” and which does not have got anything to do with the misery of Narcissus and the entire legend or myth.

    Nevertheless, thanks for your comment.


  6. I’m not quite sure how this painting is my only source of relevance, since one of my favorite Narcissus paintings is Dali’s, and actually, I would probably begin at the point of Ovid. And from that point, I would like to point out that the self is not entirely independent of others; for that reason, self-realization may come when we look into others. We are interdependent. When you spend time “loving yourself,” you are not actually loving yourself, because you do not realize that the self and the other are the parts of the whole, the “macrocosm self”. Love requires at least 2, so to love yourself, you must be divided. For that reason, maybe you are correct. To cure loneliness, all we have to do is divide the self, but then you are divided, and I believe that you cannot make yourself whole without others; and, what a sad thing it is when in spending our time on “self-love”–an emotional get rich quick scam–we not only deny another our love, but we deny them the ability to love us. With that being said, if this Narcissus painting reflected self-realization, wouldn’t he see another in his reflection?

  7. The point of self-love is very well put. I think it starts with accepting ourselves as we are, at the same time being conscious about our possibilities.
    Often we are not able to love ourselves as easily as others, may be because we are more conscious of and ‘ruthless’ with our limitations.
    And yes it’s also about self-esteem and self-confidence.
    Its just that we accept yourselves (and others) as they are (so that we can forgive) and also keep in mind the possibilities (so that we can love).

  8. @ antariksh: Thanks for the author’s admiration.

    @ artrockpoetry: Well, I too have been appreciator of Dali’s work, especially for this reference, “Metamorphosis of Narcissus.” In my view, it was a benchmark masterpiece in 3 ways. 1) Tributing Ovid’s archaic interpretation on Narcissus’ metamorphosis also by a poem, apart from that painting itself, 2) Restoring his own image amongst his own admirers, negating some futile allegations then and 3) Putting across the sublime imagination of Narcissus’ metamorphosis, which was quite abstract, modern and yet optimistic in its intent.

    However, author’s intent of putting up that image was never on the chore of juxtaposing the Narcissus myth but to merely relate the image and the content with rather self realisation through accentuating the importance of self esteem.

    As yet of an end, it was truly worth having your keen comments and fine interpretations on the entire matter, and which have been quite interactive. Do keep dropping your words hereby. Thanks a lot.

    – Robin.

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